My kids are definitely at the age where calling each other names and making fun of each other are treasured pastimes. However, I don’t think they have quite gotten the hang of it. Sure, they throw out the “stupids” and “idiots” on occasion but they prefer to be a bit more eclectic in their verbal sparing.
One of the insults that they most enjoy hurling at each other is, “Oh yeah. Well, you smell like Bill Clinton.” The first time my husband and I heard this scathing little retort, we could not contain our laughter. The thought of Monica Lewinsky scented cigars or the pungent smell of BS, surely, came to mind, but the oddity of the insult was even more hilarious.
“What exactly does that mean?” I asked Aaron. “Do you even know who Bill Clinton is?”
“Duh, Mom he was a president.”
“So, what makes you think he smells bad?”
“I don’t know,” Aaron replied. “I just do. I think it’s because of his nose. I looks kind of red, like he smelled something bad and it hurt him.”
“Oh,” I responded, thinking how glad I was that he cleared that up.
“So, does he?”
“Does who what?” I answered.
Aaron rolled his eyes . “Does Bill Clinton smell?”
“I don’t know, Aaron, I am one of the few women who has never actually smelled Bill Clinton. But , I do hear he always comes out smelling like a rose. So, if he smells, he doesn’t smell bad.”
“A rose!” squealed Aaron with glee. “Nic, you have to hear this. Mom says Bill Clinton smells like a girl. You get it? Rose is a girl’s name. Bill Clinton smells like a Rose. So, you smell like a girl.”
Now, both of my sons are on the floor laughing. You see, not only are they at the name calling age, they are also at the age where saying a boy is like a girl is not only the highest insult but also the funniest. I think about trying to explain what smelling like a rose means and that telling people they smell like Bill Clinton really isn’t funny (no matter how much Mom and Dad laugh when you say it). I realize from their laughter, there is no point. I’m sure they next time they tell one of their friends or a boy at school, “Yeah, well, you smell like Bill Clinton”, it will be taken care of for me.