Aside from the “shorties” that I’ve put up in the last month I haven’t been writing much. And Marie has been working double-time to make up for it. I owe her big.
The past month has just, well, sucked. It started at Thanksgiving and reached its crescendo January 3, the two-year anniversary of my mom’s death. For the past month, I felt like I have been grieving anew all over again. It was during the holidays that Mark and I used to fly down to Texas with our kids to spend Thanksgiving with my mom (and my sister and her kids). Some years, I would go back down again a few weeks later for my mom’s annual Christmas party. And we always spoke by phone on Christmas day. I feel her absence so much more intensely during the holidays.
Now that the holidays are over and we have taken down the tree, un-decorated the house, and gotten past January 3rd, I do feel some relief. It’s the kind of feeling I have after surviving a really bad virus. I feel shaky, but surprisingly intact. The blanket of sadness has lifted and I have more energy. I can think about my mom and smile, rather than cry.
I miss her terribly, and I always will. But now I’m going to re-engage in my life more fully and get back to writing. My mom would expect nothing less. Besides, I’ve got some great adventures planned with my kids.