How hard can it possibly be to find a calendar to hang in the kitchen? In this house, finding a 2013 calendar was quite the conundrum. It all started when Jenny got me a calendar as part of my Christmas present. The calendar is a collection of quotes from Sheldon of Big Bang Theory fame. I was glad to have a calendar for the kitchen because I hadn’t gotten one yet. I also love the Big Bang Theory and Sheldon. It’s like a little glimpse into what our sons might be like in the future. So, I was glad to get the calendar, that is, until I put it up
Usually, this wouldn’t be such a big deal. When your kid looks at the dinner you placed in front of him and says, “Oh, what fresh hell is this?” and your other kid calls you a “heartless bitch” because you won’t let him use the computer, it becomes a big deal. So, we moved the calendar to another room and covered up the quotes.
My husband brought home a new 2013 calendar for me to hang in the kitchen. I opened it and laughed. I also shook my head. By now, I thought he would have known better.
Flowers, puppies, something benign! Instead, he brought home this…
which contained this.
As you have probably already guessed, we haven’t been serving much ham around here since the kids saw this. It’s kind of hard to choke down ham while you are giggling your head of and saying “You sly fox!” or “Ham in the oven! Ha, ha, ha!”
Meanwhile, the month of January had gone by and I had missed 3 appointments because they weren’t on my kitchen calendar. Don’t say it. I know I am a dinosaur. I don’t have a Smart Phone, Blackberry, Franklin Planner or a secretary. I have my calendar and I like it.
Wanting me to not miss anything else, my husband tried to help with another calendar. They were on sale at the university bookstore where he teaches, so he bought three. A Peeps calendar, an Awkward Pet Photos calendar and a calendar with beautiful pictures of Tuscany. “You pick the one you want and I’ll take one of the others to the office,” he told me.
I knew the calendar of Tuscany was the safest one to put in the kitchen. Seriously, what could the kids find funny about pictures of Tuscany? At the same time, I really didn’t want people going to my husband’s office and seeing this…
Nic and Aaron oddly enough did laugh at The Peeps Show calendar. They thought it was cute and interesting, and, gratefully, did not get the play on words. They were enjoying the scenes of Peeps in the Mario Bros. game and at the Mad Hatter’s tea party.
My personal favorites are the scenes from Peep Side Story and Goodnight, Peeps. Nic asked me if he could have the calendar for his room. Aaron already had a Cars calendar. How could I say no. So, off went Nic and Aaron to thoroughly inspect every scene for every month for the year.
That left me with this.
At least, I haven’t missed anymore appointments.