So, I was cleaning the playroom because I had run out of clean dishes and I found this:
And I was all like, “Hey, that’s the same sparkly gray nail polish that’s on the rug in Kelly’s room.” And then I briefly wondered about the location of the actual bottle of the polish as I don’t believe I have ever seen it except on the carpet, Kelly’s hair, Scott’s fingernails, the dog, and now on Ken.
I am dying to know what the Kens have been up to. How did Ken #1 get all sparkly (on his butt, too)? How did Ken #2 lose his mind? What happened to their clothes? What is that red stuff on Ken #1. Why did Kelly do this to her Ken dolls? I am desperately afraid of the answers for the answers.
So I have a proposal: come up with a caption for the pictures (or a short story incorporating any or all of the details in the pictures). Have fun with it. I will post your caption (or short story) with the pic(s) in the sidebar, one at a time.
Let’s scare the normal people. I mean the other normal people. You know, just like us.
He looks all sparkly like a twilight vampire <3 lol
Has she seen Twilight? Because that could explain the sparkly skin and the headlessness. Otherwise, I’m guessing there was a threesome with a unicorn and the headless fellow lost his head in a freak-auto-erotic-asphyxiation-involving-a-unicorn-accident, which got blood everywhere. While it’s common knowledge that unicorns fart rainbows, it’s less known that they climax with sparkles. It would probably be better known if fewer partners lost their heads in “accidents”.
OMG, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
This. Is. Hysterical.
To be honest, poor Ken looks like some sort of Project Runway mishap or Comic Book Hero gone REALLY wrong… I’d love to know what the actual thinking behind these ‘decorative additions’ was. (Although once my sister had a Totally Hair Barbie, whose sole claim to fame was that she had hair that went down to her ankles, and – for no reason other than “I wanted to” – she chopped it all off, right up to her chin. She also got mad that it didn’t grow back. Barbies – and Kens – suffer so real people don’t have to, I guess.)
So Ken’s “all guys fishing trip” story hasn’t cut it with Barbie this year. Sadly, whilst really attending the Geeky Freaky Sci-Fi Convention, (this year in Vegas), Ken hooked up with a Lethal Lizard pervy nerdy and the two of them got a little hammered in the hot tub and thought it would be fun to hit the tattoo parlour. All was going well with Ken’s all-over lizard look until the Jack Dan started to wear off at which point he had a “Holy crap this shit really hurts and my wife is gonna kill me” awakening and tried desperately to exit the chair. Sadly, the doped up tattoo gunner took a while to realize he wanted up and Ken sustained a few blood injuries, further added to when the now skanky lizard gal realized the wife was Barbs … the very epitomy of womanhood that drove her to hide out in a lizard suit in the first place. Having kicked him where his nuts should have been, she used his cell to call his Mrs and told her that not only did her husband look like a rejected extra from Babylon Five but he was also now a bigamist. Apparently what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas. Which is a cautionary tale seeing as Ken is now homeless and camping on your floor. Being tortured by Kelly, his soon to be ex’s BFF. Go Kelly Go Kelly ….
OMG *gasping for air* BEST.RESPONSE.EVER! Going up now.