By the end of the summer, the kids were starting to get the upper hand around here. After all, there are only so many ways that you can discipline your kids without getting arrested. Taking away screen time, sending them to their rooms, and making them listen to me sing were all starting to lose their effectiveness.
Now that school is back in session, though, I have a great new tool at my disposal. I simply tell the boys when they act up, “Don’t forget. I pack your lunch.”
“What does that mean?” asked Nic, frightfully. “Are you going to spit on our food?”
“No!” Aaron answered, before I could utter a word. “That would be gross. Mom doesn’t do gross.”
“Aaron’s right, Nic. I would never do anything gross like that.” I smile at him reassuringly.
“I can tell you one thing, Nic. If she’s smiling, it will be much worse than spit! It will be something embarrassing!” Aaron says shaking his head.
My little wise one, you know me so well. When I pack your lunch, revenge will be on the menu.
So, say you complained about dinner last night. Your lunch might look like this…
What? Its got all the food groups! Bet last night’s dinner is looking good now.
Or, remember you said that I don’t love you because I wouldn’t buy you that $50 toy at Target. Your lunch will set that straight…
Don’t all 4th and 5th grade boys get love notes from their mommies? Well, I couldn’t have you going around thinking I don’t love you just because I didn’t buy you a toy. Now, could I?
Oh, and how many times did I tell you to stop calling your brother a baby?
Well, maybe after lunch today, you won’t be doing that again.
Do you remember when I kept asking you to stop burping and showing your brother your chewed up food at dinner last night?
Well, sorry, Mommy lied. Sometimes, I do gross! Kind of ruins your appetite, huh, boys?
Of course, I’ll never let them know it was only apple butter.