You also say she shouldn’t compare her pain (which is quite real and which I was responding to. So thank you very much for implying something devious in my post, I REALLY love it when women tell me how I feel/what my motivations are) and again, do so in a way that says “I have more pain than you and so mine is ‘better.’” So Miss Pot? Meet Kettle.

You also point out that Marie’s post is really a matter between a husband and wife and could more readily be resolved in therapy (which I don’t necessarily disagree with) but you do so in a way that implies she hasn’t really considered his side of the story. And you point this out while spewing vitriol at her pain. So again, Miss Pot? Meet Kettle.

And speaking of your apparently amazing talent for understanding how men think, let me tell you, since I am, in fact, a man, what I think of your description of how I think. First, you should know I share the parenting duties with my wife. There is, as all parents know, no magic pill that suddenly makes you a great parent. And mothers in our society in general have it harder than fathers. I distinctly remember asking my wife parenting questions just after our first was born as though, now that she’d given birth, all the answers just magically popped into her head.

BUT, looking back on our parenting I can see, quite distinctly, that while are styles may have differed (I tend to play rougher with my kiddos than she does) our genders have NOTHING to do with our competencies as parents. I am just as capable of nurturing and disciplining our kids and I find the implication that I am “not bred to bear and raise children” to be as demeaning and insulting as you should find it if I had said you were “Not fit for work outside the home”

I’ve mentioned my wife a lot and I probably should point out that she is Jennifer, the OTHER Imperfect Mommy. So I guess you were right, I did ‘score’ one of them, 13 years before this conversation ever took place. I did so by being the kind of man worthy of her love, by standing up for what I believe in, by loving, honoring, and nurturing our friendship and love. Not by hitting on her when she was vulnerable (which is what you thought I was doing, thanks by the way for that, because the only possible reason I, a man, would attempt to be comforting to another human being is to get in their pants). Really, I’d like to think my teen years would have been far more successful if women really were as stupid as you’re implying they are.

Lastly I want to back to the one comment of yours that isn’t vitriol, that being whether the matter is public or not. As I said I have worked very hard at ensuring my wife and I have a successful marriage and in so doing I think I have earned the right to hear this kind of bad news straight from the source. But I have seen all too many marriages (I am a Clinical Psychotherapist) in which one or both partners cannot or will not take in such messages. And sometimes, it takes a metaphorical ‘slap in the face’ for that partner to hear the message. Is that what happened here? I don’t know. But I do know Marie’s pain is palpable, and my response to it had nothing to do with ‘scoring’ anything.

PS … spare them all … one might wander off and join a cult where lsughter is firbidden or take up living in the attic with a vat of henna and some good shit so you really ought to have a spare.

I’m just saying this is not the way to help your troubled marriage. If he reads this. He would feel hurt and betrayed.

It could be worse, your husband could be living with you and sleeping with other women. He could be a drunk. He could beat you and your children. Really! Sometimes you need a reality check and a wake up call, your complaints are all trivial when you think of what your life could really be like.

In a marriage with children there is a list of things that need to get done and you split them up between you. The biggest thing on the list is making money to support your family. If your husband is the ONLY one bringing in a paycheck then I’m sorry to have to tell you but that puts more of the smaller, mundane chores on YOUR list. That’s life unless you are rich enough to afford a nanny and a house cleaner.

Men are a different animal than we are. Their bodies are not bred to bear and raise children. Without the daily practice of raising children, there are less experienced than we are so that makes them ask what we think are dumb questions that you already know the answer to but they don’t! Very simple…..If they don’t learn first hand, all they know is what their mother taught them.

Sometimes we see what other people have and we want it. Some other women who appear to have it all, everything you say you don’t have. But trust me, things are never as they appear. For everything they have that you want, there is something else that goes with it that is bad but you will never hear about that.

Instead of writing on a public forum and betraying your husband’s trust, and yes this is a betrayal, talk to him, go to counseling if you really want to save your marriage, but I disagree with this. Talking to a friend in confidence is one thing but posting your dirty laundry and bad mouthing the father of your children for anyone to read is unacceptable. Anybody could find out who you are taking about. It could affect their jobs and then guess what? You will have to go get a job !

There is only one reason to be posting on a blog and that is purely for attention. And as for Mark, he’s looking to score one of you nice ladies. You made him cry? Give me a break. Seeing you bruised with no self esteem and a broken spirit is something to cry about.